If Big Bird and “Sesame Street” are important enough for a presidential debate, their muse is certainly worth poaching for today’s column, which is being brought to you initially by the letters M and B.

ABC's of State Fiscal MessFirst the M. As in: Mike Madigan. Map. Money. Message. Majority. And, yes, Mess.

House Speaker Madigan picked up seven new seats on Election Day and begins the next session of the General Assembly in January with a veto-proof Majority. How did he do it? By drawing a legislative Map with new districts that favored his candidates, raising enough Money to gain an edge in the contested races, and crafting strong enough Messages to one-up the opposing candidates.

But those victories also mean that Madigan’s Majority, and Senate President John Cullerton’s equally powerful bloc, now own the last M — the Mess in Springfield — which is brought to you by the letter B, as in: Busted Budget. Bales of Bills. And of equal note, Bureaucratic Bloat.

Remember that Madigan, Cullerton and Gov. Pat Quinn raised the state income tax a whopping 67 percent two years ago. It was supposed to start paying the bills, balancing the budget and drawing down the pension debt.

But it’s been little more than a bandage on a gaping wound, and the situation today is even worse:

  • The budget is too busted to keep up with a burgeoning bale of unpaid bills that now tops $8 billion.
  • And the bureaucratic bloat? Despite downsizing pledges and efficiency studies, lawmakers haven’t done anything about the state’s 7,000-plus units of government, the most in the country and all of them separate taxing bodies, or the more than 300 boards and commissions, or the nearly 300 one-school school districts.

Duplication plus replication equals abomination: That’s Sloth 101 in the School of Springfield Slackers — brought to you by the letter S.

undefinedAs for the deepening pension debacle? The state’s five major tax-supported public employee retirement funds are underfunded by $96 billion, and that number goes up every day they’re not reformed.

Put it all together and you have the worst fiscal mess in the country, according to a recent 50-state report by a team of distinguished financial experts.

But the Land of Lincoln is top tier in one way: Our lawmakers are among the best compensated in the country. The average House salary is $76,296 and senators average $79,652. Their health and pension benefits are generous, and the jobs are part-time.

So let’s get this straight: Madigan and Cullerton, the legislative leaders who’ve presided over a deepening crisis and raised our taxes without solving the problems, get rewarded with generous pay and bennies. And we send them back to Springfield with even more power.

Are Illinois voters crazy or misinformed or easily manipulated or apathetic or all of the above?

Perhaps, but this is the holiday season, so let’s try not to despair. And since January begins a new year and a fresh legislative session, let’s summon up a smidgen of optimism.

In deference to Big Bird, a truly benign character, this final sentence is brought to you by the letter H. For Hope.

Andy Shaw is President & CEO of the Better Government Association. He can be reached at ashaw@bettergov.org or 312-386-9097.